“Had I lost you?” I would often think when I would be sitting alone in the cold chamber that was once supposed to be our room. It was a cozy room then, but today it is as cold as me, inactive, and dormant. I can feel us together but can’t touch you; I can memorize our beautiful past but can’t see our future together. And sometime I run towards you try to catch you, but you are volatile, you come to me make me remember those nights of ours and then disappears. The gap between us has widened in reality but there is no gap between us in my dreams. And I am unable to synchronize the reality and my dreams, where do I exist, where am I supposed to be. Have I lost me too?
Long are the days and short are the nights, when I can feel you. The whole day passes watching my son shutting the door in anger, quarrelling with his wife on small issues, not having his breakfast just because of his heavy schedule. I feel de-energized then, I can’t get up from my bed and cook his favorite ‘rajma chawal’. I can’t help resolve their pity issues, as they don’t want my involvement in those ‘husband wife things’. But how can I resist from not interfering, he is my son, he is sad, I have never let that happen when he was more of mine than a husband. But its life, whatever I had I am losing, my husband, my son, and therefore I myself. Let this entire end, Oh Lord!!! Lest they stay blessed and and prosper!!!!
Audacity of hope.. 