If you ever fall in love…

Well, I assume, this title would buy me more readers. 😆

Its been really long, i have held a pen in my hands so here I am, strong enough to re-post. Since 6 months we have been in a one sided relationship with the ‘lockdown‘ (Corona loves us, I guess, one hell of a road side romeo). I can imagine how scary K-K-K-Kiran (Shahrukh from the movie – Darr) was, but Co-Co-Co-corona seems no less.

Well this article is neither about Corona nor love, its about how we get caged emotionally by an object or a person and get trapped in our own thoughts leaving the keys with that object or that person. We realize the fact that we are trapped and we actually want to find the keys, but our untrained mind redirects us to the person who has the keys rather than focusing on the keys itself. Why do we forget the fact that even if the keys are with that person we can have duplicates??

But how to train the untrained minds?? No matter how many degrees you hold, or how well reputed company you work with, there is no surety that your brain is trained to define the emotional level to which you should be involved with a person. Say for example you work with a firm, spend ten to twelve hours with your colleague and develop a healthy relation with him/her. No matter how well aware you are that he/she is a colleague and not a regular friend you tend to have expectations. Or you are a student and you have a very healthy relationship with your roommate, you happen to treat her as your family and develop that level of expectation from her. And at some point of time in unfavourable circumstances you get disappointed and hurt and your expectations go for a toss. How to deal with such disappointments??

I personally have seen it all, and have been lucky enough to get less disappointments and have been able to consume the nectar of amazing relationships. But luck will not always be by your side and hence you will have to taste disappointment if you don’t have an eye for why have you come in contact with a person. Demarcating the boundaries in your relationships is of utmost important and an important aspect of your character. You can not treat everyone the same. Its better to train your mind to be able to forecast that what is the motto of your meeting a person, what place can you give him/her in your professional and personal life, where can you go wrong and how can you prevent in maintaining that gap.

Training your mind to handle emotions is as important as is exercising. With emotional fatigue you might get successful but will not be able to drive happiness out of it.

Training your mind emotionally still does not guarantee that you wont get hurt. And getting hurt is an experience which one should not be scared of as it makes you a better performer. While you are hurt you tend to spend more time with yourself, you are unable to concentrate on your regular work and hence buy more time to heal your emotional wounds. You get time to introspect. You are fearless at that very moment as you feel what worst can come up then. And if you tend to channelize your energy well you can actually create a masterpiece in your life. No better motivator than a broken heart. So if you ever FALL in love or any other emotional trauma, deeper the fall is, the thrust to reach heights is higher than the one in normal scenario.

Here I am with an opinion that travel your emotional road with an open eye. But if you fall do not worry, the journey is long enough to heal your wounds. Just dont be afraid to travel.

Be a traveller, but be well prepared!!

Ghatkopar Building Collapse…A discrepancy between Live and Let Live

Ghatkopar Building Collapse…A discrepancy between Live and Let Live

It was the birds chirping in the morning that made me feel alive, yet another day. I woke up, with all my disappointments, dreams, faith and commotion I had, recollecting all my emotions to channelize them for the fruitful day. I reached my office with a big smile on my face challenging the adversities anticipating some learning, certain development, a little satisfaction if I could grasp from the situations I had in hand. But the unexpected fell on the very first step I took and I couldn’t pass by.

It was the collapse of a multi-storey building where my friend resided. A building with two wings, four floors, 12 happy families and 50-60 people or shall I say 50-60 dreams living by. With each brick that washed off eroded those moments that they cherished together, the celebration of the first cry of a newborn, the beginning of a newly married couple and the sorrow of the last breath of an oldie. And in minutes that home to those of 50-60 lives turned out to be a cemetery where the living died of suffocation, under the debris, crying in pain and sorrow. And the lucky ones who were not with their loved ones escaped death but were dying every second breathing the ashes of their loved ones helplessly. They lived a thousand lives when the rescue team pulled up the victims’ expecting that they were their loved ones and died a million deaths realizing that the one rescued was not the one they expected.

I know it is a dark scene to be recited, but this is the ugly truth. With every word I am typing, I am shivering in pain and sorrow. And I am drafting it with a purpose of not getting forgotten. I want no tears of disappointment in your eyes, but a conviction from all of us that no greed, no negligence would be tolerated at the cost of a life. Though the foundation of these lives has got a crack but as a team, we can build a foundation that is indestructible. No words of sympathy can bring a change in these lives but a change in our thought process can control the darkest scenario. The pain, the sufferings is a ladder which is to be crossed by everyone individually but the strength the ladder can uphold, to be constructed is in our hands. There is no teacher better than life and no punishment worse than a loss of a closed one. Let not the fate decide our lives but our decisions must. The culprit is in some of us, amongst us and beside us. It’s high time to confront him. And there should be no fear, no shame to punish him. Let us come together to make things rightly done for the future rather than crying over the issues that are history today. And my message to the youth of today is that ‘No sparrow falls to the ground without your FATHER (GOD) knowing it, it is us who are digging our own graves.’

Rains: A lullaby

Rains: A lullaby

 

I woke up gazing around after a sound sleep. The night was cold and cozy with the raindrops comforting me with its melodious lullaby, the droplets from the window were tickling me and we laughed and laughed and danced on the rhythm of the rain. The notorious trees were playful as their thirsty branches were fighting for each drop falling on the edges. The excitement was communicating from the birds romancing in the shed to the winds blowing. The tea colored puddles enlarging with each drop and each minute passing by with its exotic aroma spreading across. And there was fun and frolic all around.

Eventually the droplets tickling me got a little bolder and harsh. I suddenly felt cold and my thoughts tried to act as a winter coat but latterly I fell prey to the silence. I kept calm and smelled the rain, but not for long, the puddles on my window were getting hammered and hence I waited for the dark storm to pass by. But my patience crashed and I fumbled. My throat got choked, the branches no longer acted playful, they were frightened like me. They tried to keep hold of each other but one of them couldn’t bear the pressure and fell. I felt numb and tears knocked my eyes.

The sky got cleared by then. All the cacophony created around was translated into a pin drop silence. There was light, chirping of the birds and blossomy flowers. The surroundings were relaxed and in harmony. And I could realize the lullaby that rain had recited me. It was a promise that when it stops everything will be fresh and lively. And hence it gave me another perspective to life that everything can start anew. And hence I never complained of the rain, for it being harsh, deadly and gloomy. The situations can be hard but let us not stop believing in the message that rains tried to communicate every time when it destroys itself to meet us. Let the hope prevail and connect be live. There is life in the beginning and laughter at the end. Hence I wish a lively laughter to all my readers.

#MastMumbai

 

 

Vicious circle of Cosmopolitan Ironies

                                             Vicious circle of Cosmopolitan Ironies

Certain urges don’t let you sleep, and for some, you need a sleep to accomplish. Well, this is life and its dilemma, where at one end you are expecting consolidation, one platform for all, just like GST and at the other end there is bifurcation and splitting like it did for Andhra Pradesh and it turned out to be Andhra Pradesh and Telangana. ‘Divide and Rule’ or ‘Consolidate and Conquer’. Difficult to analyze, isn’t it? This vicious circle of ironies has made this beautiful and simple world of ours a struggle to solve the puzzle which is called life.

The magic of change has encapsulated the world making it fierce and strong; and the hearts somewhat cold, colder than it was ages before. ‘Winter is coming’ and we are shaken up, rearranged to relocate ourselves to going places. But where are we heading to? Any idea. I too don’t. Everyone is speaking of development, digitization, success, SMART world, etc.; and with it, we are digging our own graves. We are so much getting into the culture of outsourcing that now we are outsourcing the brains through coding and programming. And we call it development. Some developed brains are shutting doors for millions of developing brains and hence outsource the ‘SMARTness’ or are we getting ‘OVER-smart’ and hence building ‘ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE’ and ‘AUGMENTED REALITIES’. We are merging with the atrocities to acquire difficulties. We are building complexities and then are disrupting ways to probing the complexities. The emotions have too turned calculative, just divide it with the situations and you will arrive at the KPI (Key Performance Indicator) of life that is ‘Emotional Quotient’. If the remainder is zero the equation of life is highly inconsistent and hence no solution. But if it is a natural number there are many solutions but inconsistency still prevails.

I am not against this development but I fear that the real essence of this change is not getting realized, or should I say the meaning of life is getting lost. If I take the example of Yoga which is an art of meditation, a cure to detach from the materialism of the world and realize one’s own soul, has today become an advertising agent of commercial products. And this directs me towards another such example where Mahatma Gandhi who fought against non-violence is a symbol of violence that is money for which almost all the violence revolve around. And how can we forget about religion which is meant for keeping peace and prosperity have been realized by the OVER-smart minds as a symbol of terrorism. So that is how SMART we have become and will become in the ‘Evolving Future’ and hence set many more examples or ironies celebrating our so called success. The violent clock is buzzing at the peak it had never buzzed before. I fear this violence doesn’t destroy the eternal peace, I fear this development doesn’t prove to be a scar of bright light hung in the bat-black sky.  I fear the geyser of our expectations don’t burn the livelihood and the innocence of life. Let us together build hope, have faith in the simplicity and hence believe in the internal power of togetherness. Let us not take this life as a battle against complexities but direction ourselves towards love for simplicity.

‘Cocktail’- A new teacher

                                                          ‘Cocktail’- A new teacher

 

And the year is on its verge to end with the cold breeze encapsulating the moments of love, compassion, pain, anguish, and togetherness. The dryness of nostalgia in the air is hitting our hearts and making us numb and hence we are gearing up for a loud party to solicit the truth which we do not want to hear. The hypnotic DJ, intoxicating bands, metallic music, and the dancing discordant disco lights is the simplest mode of escapism with a small sum of money (which itself is illusionary today and we call it cashless) is taking us to cloud 9.

The only cohesion today I find is in cocktails, which create an immense euphoric effect that a few years back was created when I would meet a group of friends after returning from a holiday. But mind it, this is the digital era, far is no far anymore and near is no near too. We are so busy building up augmented realities that the actual reality is diminishing at a Femto rate. I believe Moore’s law will be rejuvenated too and would land up to, ‘the number of healthy relations in a dense digital world would reduce approximately twice in every two years’. So is reality really augmenting???

Time is tirelessly running on the treadmill augmenting its pace and leveling up our ambitions and aspirations. And we are trying to get hold of it leaving behind the hold of the ones who ones imbibed in us a belief that we can run faster than we thought. We are running with all our might but with this passion for leading and winning, we have missed the very essence of our destination. The journey to our destination is ecstatic but it brings mirage in its path as well. Let us not get lost in this materialistic world rather let us together direction our closed ones who unconsciously we know are falling prey to the vicious circle of this disconnecting world.

This new year let us learn from the cocktails we are having in an enigmatic music of a lost party that only solidarity can create a euphoric effect in life. So cheers for the blasting New Year celebrations, be safe and together.

‘COL’ Anthem- A carefree cry

                                                   ‘COL’ Anthem- A carefree cry

 

Have you ever thought which emotional reaction are you first acquainted with in your life right from its very start? Take a second or so and think!!!

Crying it is. When a baby is born he cries to communicate his emotions. Do you think it has got an impact on our lives or does it have a message to convey? The UNICEF estimates that an average of 353,000 babies, are born each day around the world. And is it not fascinating to observe the same pattern performed by every child in each part of the world irrespective of its class, creed or gender. Is nature trying to convey something through this pattern???

Well, the very first and true emotional reaction of humans are, to cry. But why does a baby cry? The reason could be fear, or his uneasiness, or pain of getting detached with his mother after a period of nine months. There can be plenty of emotions behind a single reaction and the baby has been gifted with the first right to showcase his emotion through crying irrespective of what the society would interpret it. And the irony of the situation is the celebration and the welcoming ceremony of human’s first ‘cry’. None of the other emotional action has ever achieved such an applaud other than crying. But with the passage of time this auspicious action is interpreted as a weakness which friends is a curse in our society. You can be dishonest and disloyal to the world and yourself but cannot have the courage, to be honest about being weak for a small span of time.

There is a misconception that people have that those who have the ability to hide their real emotions such as grief and pain, are the strongest ones. But is hiding a strength or a weakness?? Think!!! 

Let us remember those moments when we would hide our grades with our parents and siblings and would burn in fear anticipating the implications when the truth of our performance would be revealed. Sleepless nights and stress we were confronted with. We were accompanied with plenty of emotions of stress, fear, frustration, grief running through our minds for a couple of days and nights due to this uneasy act of hiding. And what if we had faced those moments with courage and disclosed our grades instead of hiding them. What relief had it been? Relief lies in a reveal and not in a hide. So is hiding a solution??

If not, then why to hide our own emotions with ourselves? Why can’t we let our emotions flow through our eyes in courage rather than torturing ourselves in the guilt of hiding our own selves with the world and us? Let us break this social taboo that crying is a weakness. It is rather a strength, as it releases out your stress and frustration refreshing us to start again killing all the negativities inside us and starting afresh. That is what nature is trying to convey with each second a baby is born, that to start afresh cry hard to smile for long. It is high time to follow the ‘COL’ anthem that is ‘cry out loud’ moment, because to have a ‘LOL’ moment it is very necessary to follow a ‘COL’ moment. Spread it across, and see how a happy world can be created with a carefree cry.

The Road to be ‘Respected’….

The Road to be ‘Respected’….

Most of the best memories come from some old dirt road, the road that is never tempted to end, the road that is jewelled with the footprints of divine men. And this road illustrates life; it is the mirror to our progress, exemplified by the riders who have created a history to be traced. It gives me immense pleasure to walk through it, my road to adventure, progress, betterment and togetherness. But today ‘my road’ has become a synonym to accidents, pain, distraction and hence negativity.

Gone are the days when we would find roads with people walking or riding a bicycle on. The youth of today is allured with driving, more precisely I would say driving crazy. The whooping traffic, the honking horns and the sparkling red lights are what make them feel the rush in their adrenalin. And hence they are provoked to jump traffic, create cacophony of horns and feel electrified by the sparkling red lights that seem no different to them from the disco lights, dancing on the music of disguise. It is difficult to find them stuck in traffic as they themselves are traffic for the others. It was last month when a teenager driving a Mercedes ran over a young man and killed him in Delhi. And a couple of days before the newspapers were flooded with the news of a 19-year-old student’s ‘audacity’ in overtaking his top-end range rover, JD(U) MLC Manorva Devi’s son Rocky Yadav who allegedly shot Aditya Sachdeva, as his ego was hurt for for being overtaken by a Swift Dzire. Such kind of instances is so common to find in newspaper these days. Teenagers today are more impulsive, excitable and prone to taking risks and causing accidents. They lack the necessary ability to scan the road ahead, anticipate hazards and judge the level of danger they may encounter. Or maybe they are so distracted from the real scenario that they are stubborn to face the reality. And hence it has become critically important for all of us to channelize their energy and excitement into productive output. The youth is the hope for tomorrow; we cannot be negligent and hence loose our faith in tomorrow.

Roads are no place for adventure, and driving on public roads is no adventure anyhow.  Living life is an adventure and not destroying one. Let the speed you desire from your bike or your car reside in your thought process, your decision making and your arms and legs. Let your brain overtake your own self again and again every time rather than overtaking one danger and falling into another. Let the road be respected for the journey it is bending towards rather than making it notorious for the coming generation to take lessons from. And lastly I would say, may the road rise to greet you, and not scare you.

No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn around, the road not taken is still waiting for you.

Journalism: The new DAILY SOAP…

Journalism: The new ‘Daily Soap’ of India

 

When the world sleeps, they are awake, with their tear-drops on fire and fearlessness in their breath. They travel, they capture, in the darkness, to enlighten us, to show us the unseen, experiencing the smell of corruption, injustice, compassion and what not. They hear the unheard mysteries, taste the abominable crimes and yet smile upon the hard truth and unveil the astonishing realities of the world. Journalism, we call it, the third eye to the present world, and an act of faith in the future. But there lies an aberration in what it is and how it is acknowledged by people.

With power lies the responsibility, the responsibility to be the watchdogs for the society, to showcase the unusual and present it white and not grey, not because they are entitled to do so but because we trust them. We do. But shall we blindly trust them???

Commercialization has endorsed us all with competition. And competition sometimes kills the very essence of the situation but it keeps it alive till you are competing. And journalism is one such example which proves this assumption. And hence it is well said that ratings don’t last for long but good journalism does. Although articulating the hard truth doesn’t make it taste practicality and hence in reality it is all business, be it good or bad, ratings does matter. Sometimes I feel competition has ruined it all but then it has brought to us the best to mesmerise. But ‘the best’ doesn’t last for long. Depreciation can never be avoided and so is the truth.

Manipulation and diplomacy today have become synonyms to journalism. And hence journalism has turned into an art of storytelling and when it comes to storytelling I immediately get redirected to ‘the daily soaps’, we all have at some point of time gone through. But does this storytelling really entertain the youth of today??? The target audience of this generation has gained maturity and thus it is of utmost importance to rejuvenate the strategy to penetrate this audience that desire quality content and the true description of the situation.

Talking about the section on the receiver side, I beg your pardon, but journalism is not a source of entertainment, we really need to format our ideologies and understand that what is shown is for the interest of the majority and hence has to be crisp, precise, intellectual and meaningful. It is not a ‘Saas-Bahu’ quarrel of a daily soap that you are bored of and need an aberration from and hence are switching towards the severely important facets of national and international affairs with an eye of ignorance expecting some kind of a TV drama. Since they show us what we ought to see we have to change our mindset. The change can only be broadcast when we as responsible citizens of India develop an urge and hunger for the truth and not merely just expect a topic to discuss while quenching our thirst with a big glass of whiskey in one hand and the adverse conditions of our country in the other.

Give it a thought, it needs one. Till then stay blessed, healthy and awaken your senses.

Change Begins With A Single VOICE…

Change Begins With A Single VOICE…

An Indian girl, when she is born, is given the identity of an idol – goddess Lakshmi. During the festival of Durga Puja, small girls are invited into homes to make them sacred. I would like to share with you, an incident in my life which changed the meaning of the whole festival for me, forever.

During my childhood days, I was always excited for the Durga Puja festival, as we girls were treated like idols and would get beautiful dresses, bangles, chunris, sweets and coins. I felt very special, but on one such year when I was eleven years of age, everything changed all of a sudden. Like every year, I got dressed up and carried my pink purse to go visit nearby home, to enjoy the halwapuri they served and of course, anticipating the beautiful gifts we often got. However, while heading out, I realised that I had red stains on my beautiful white frock and I got so scared that I ran towards my mother. She then asked me to change my clothes and told me about the whole ‘red’ affair. I cried a lot, not because I had stomach ache or because I was afraid of my stains but because I was asked to not to go to the temple and to other people’s houses as it was an auspicious occasion and I was rendered impure for it. I could not understand the whole theory; I just wanted to go out with my friends and being the stubborn child I was, I cried harder to get my way,but sadly, to no avail. Although I got so many other gifts, I wasn’t happy because I was the only one among all my friends who was prevented from going out.

I am 21 years old now, and till date I have no idea on what basis I was treated as an idol and on what basis I was ever considered as being impure. Did I commit some crime? Did I brutally insult some ancient unshakable tradition? Nobody has answers to these questions. Is it a journey of a girl from ‘gharkilakshmi’ to ‘ablanari’ what periods are all about? Well this is the first injustice we girls face at an age where we are absolutely ignorant about what justice actually means and as we grow up, we resign to our fates and accept things for what they are. India was ruled by the Britishers long ago but till today, our superstitions still rule us.

I had in fact forgotten about this incident until two days ago when it all came back to me, as if I were eleven only just yesterday. I had recited a poem titled ‘It Stains’ on the occasion of the annual Youth Fest in my university. The poem was all about the hurdles girls faced during their periods. I told my teachers that I would be reciting a poem I had written, focusing on the topic of menstruation. For what seemed like a good two minutes, everybody stared at me expecting me to feel ashamed of what I was saying. To their surprise, I looked straight into their eyes until they lowered theirs and after a short span of time, I heard my teacher say in a very low tone – “Are you out of your wits”, I responded by explaining to her how there was nothing wrong in reciting such poem and about its social benefits and somehow finally managed to convince her. Yet, she maintained that I may get disqualified for such an ‘act’ and said she didn’t want any ‘stains’ on the college’s reputation on my account. I then had to convince her that I would have no regrets even if I did get disqualified after which I finally succeeded in representing my college for the poem recital.

The D-day came and so did my turn, and brimming with confidence, I started reciting my poem and was successful in connecting with the audience and the judges. While reciting, I noticed that my teacher who as per the rule had to be present while her college student was performing, had left the room, but it did not matter to me, and so I bravely continued…

I hate it when I leak,
I hate it when I ooze,
I contain my mental shriek,
When I realize my womb is coming loose,
Wherever I lie I feel ashamed, as wherever I sit I leave their my stains…

These were the lines that made it clear that yes I was indeed talking about ‘periods’and I could see the faces – some were ashamed, while some were curious about what I was up-to. For my part, I felt confident, I was where I wanted to be doing what I wanted to do. As my poem progressed, some faces were finding places to hide themselves, some mouths were murmuring ‘daag ache hain, it stains’, while some were listening to my every word with rapt attention as I connected with those who were listening instead of just hearing. I then began reciting the last stanza that described the reason behind why it stained but couldn’t go on as the finishing bell then rang. I continued, but it rang again, leaving me feeling humiliated and shattered, not because of the weird expressions I was met with, but because I couldn’t complete my message. Though I was able to communicate this unspoken truth and the hurdles it suffers, I was unable to conclude and was unsuccessful with the event. In retrospect, I suppose I would definitely start all over again someday and definitely succeed. It’s difficult to be the change you want to see but not impossible and I will rise again with my thoughts, with my message, with my poem someday and with much more emphasis than I ever laid before.

Therefore, here is a request to all the girls out there – that this is not just one person’s, or one team’s responsibility to bring about change. If you are a woman, you are born with this responsibility – the responsibility to claim respect for your existence. If we are able to change even one person’s mindset about our existence being one of purity and make them respect the biological processes we undergo, it would do wonders to the bigger picture like we’ve never imagined it to.

 

She was just 6…

 

Its an end to your community, if you don’t stop here right off

.

She was just 6, a bright little kid, sparkling around among the other stars, her innocent smile that could light up the dark nights. But today what I see in her eyes is darkness. At an age when she knew least about her gender, the difference between a girl and a boy, she had faced that unspoken thing.

She felt nothing, was almost blank, emotionless whenever it had happened to her. But somewhere she felt lost. She would try to control the water flowing out of the tap, struggled to hold the pressure but failed. She couldn’t weep, because she didn’t know what to feel sad for, and she was struggling to find an answer to her emotions.

And she grew up unanswered, until she became mature enough to know, to understand that she was one among those who had suffered. And after that day, she started losing herself and her self confidence diminished.

“Why me?” She would often question herself, but there is no answer, even today to her innocent questions. It’s not just about one such girl, there are thousands, lakhs of such 6 year olds, and even younger ones. Who are they, the heartless inhuman men outside, why are they doing this, and what are they trying to proof, is it your manhood. If it is then manhood is a curse mind me. No longer will you be saved. These girls are questioning today, and just one spark and your whole inhuman community will be destroyed. Don’t just come in her way or else your end is not very far-off.